I've been trying to collect little pieces of my childhood on eBay. I'm not sure why I began the process other than a desire for really cool eighties toys, but, I digress. I'm looking for the Little Orphan Annie necklace charm I had until I was about seven. I'm looking for this sweet Glow Worm I had as well. See, there's this girl I used to be, and I'm trying to find her. Maybe I think if I have some of her things like the Glow Worm and the Orphan Annie charm, I can get her back.
She was fierce. Afraid of nothing but the toilet monster, she would ride her bike as fast as she could and she'd sneak onto Michigan Avenue on that bike and back home without anyone knowing. That girl was proud of scabs, and she didn't care how her hair looked (but it always had that healthy kid shine to it until she got it cut into a mullet by her well meaning mother). She laughed and told stories to beat the band. She was fun, and she believed in things with the tenacity of a cat fighting a plunge into the icy garden hose water in a plastic kiddie pool. I lost track of that girl, though. She started being afraid of things. Started being weak and lazy. The girl who used to stay out until the street lights came on and would then look out her window until she feel asleep became an adult who rejoices when it's bed time and keeps her windows closed.
Wait, what the heck am I saying??? That's not really me. Now, I am a lot more jaded than I was when I was a girl, and I know things I wish I didn't sometimes, but the same God who loved me and watched over me then, watches over me and loves me now. Sometimes, I'm sad about the innocence I've lost or had taken from me. Sometimes, I feel dirty and used up, and I feel like that tough girl I used to be got swallowed up in life, but then, praise be to Him, He reminds me that that is just not true. I have been redeemed. Jesus bought me and paid for me, and He has made me clean. It's through His strength that I can do anything. He's made me a person who loves the outdoors. I can't get enough sunshine. I love to sit on my back porch and soak up the beauty of the Lord's creation. I love my family, my friends, and I love that He loves me in spite of all my hangups. I'm still looking on eBay, but I'm not looking for the same thing. I'm looking for these little toys I had when I was little mostly because I like them and they're really neat, but also to remind me that all that sadness, all my yuck, all my sin has been redeemed. Hopefully, this time I'll win the auction.
Isaiah 25:9
"The sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth."
Psalm 103:11-12
"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
She was fierce. Afraid of nothing but the toilet monster, she would ride her bike as fast as she could and she'd sneak onto Michigan Avenue on that bike and back home without anyone knowing. That girl was proud of scabs, and she didn't care how her hair looked (but it always had that healthy kid shine to it until she got it cut into a mullet by her well meaning mother). She laughed and told stories to beat the band. She was fun, and she believed in things with the tenacity of a cat fighting a plunge into the icy garden hose water in a plastic kiddie pool. I lost track of that girl, though. She started being afraid of things. Started being weak and lazy. The girl who used to stay out until the street lights came on and would then look out her window until she feel asleep became an adult who rejoices when it's bed time and keeps her windows closed.
Wait, what the heck am I saying??? That's not really me. Now, I am a lot more jaded than I was when I was a girl, and I know things I wish I didn't sometimes, but the same God who loved me and watched over me then, watches over me and loves me now. Sometimes, I'm sad about the innocence I've lost or had taken from me. Sometimes, I feel dirty and used up, and I feel like that tough girl I used to be got swallowed up in life, but then, praise be to Him, He reminds me that that is just not true. I have been redeemed. Jesus bought me and paid for me, and He has made me clean. It's through His strength that I can do anything. He's made me a person who loves the outdoors. I can't get enough sunshine. I love to sit on my back porch and soak up the beauty of the Lord's creation. I love my family, my friends, and I love that He loves me in spite of all my hangups. I'm still looking on eBay, but I'm not looking for the same thing. I'm looking for these little toys I had when I was little mostly because I like them and they're really neat, but also to remind me that all that sadness, all my yuck, all my sin has been redeemed. Hopefully, this time I'll win the auction.
Isaiah 25:9
"The sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth."
Psalm 103:11-12
"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
PS I also really loved Strawberry Shortcake when I was a kid.
2 comments:
you are the strongest person i know
And I am so very proud of the woman and mother you have become. You are His daughter, His handmaiden and the love of His life.
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